


Introspection

by Mediocre_Indigo



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Gen, Post-Timeskip | War Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Pre-Timeskip | Academy Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Spoilers for Post-Timeskip | War Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Spoilers for Pre-Timeskip | Academy Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), fe3h exchange, no beta we die like Glenn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:53:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25995532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mediocre_Indigo/pseuds/Mediocre_Indigo
Summary: Edelgard knows that she'd do anything to see her ambition through, even if she has to do it alone, but she wishes she didn't have to.
Relationships: Black Eagles Students & Edelgard von Hresvelg, Edelgard von Hresvelg & My Unit | Byleth
Kudos: 7





	Introspection

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for @moonstruckmoron on Twitter for the FE3H Exchange. I apologize if it isn't very polished (as I kind of wrote it at the last minute), but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless.

Edelgard had lost many things throughout her life. When the Prime Minister and the rest of the Adrestian nobility doomed her and her siblings to be test subjects for Those Who Slither in the Dark, she had been robbed of her family as well as any semblance of a normal future, but she also discovered some time afterward that the ordeal had affected her memory as well.

Much of the time leading up to her imprisonment had suddenly become a blur to her. She found that she could hardly recall any time spent with her own mother, who had only been in exile for a few years at that point. She had forgotten the name and face of the boy she had befriended in Faerghus the year before her return to the Empire, or where she had gotten her favorite dagger from. Whenever she tried to look back and remember, she was met with the darkness of the dungeon beneath the Imperial palace, the tightness of the chains cuffed to her wrists, the dampness of the stone floor where rats would crawl at her feet, the odor of the mold growing on the walls, and the cries of her siblings as they slowly wasted away.

In an effort to escape the pain that came from her past, Edelgard began to look toward her future, which was only slightly less bitter. She knew that in the brief time she had left, her captors intended to use her as a pawn to further their twisted plans. She knew that for the sake of her late siblings and all of Fódlan, she could never allow their goals to be brought to fruition, and when her father passed the knowledge of the true nature of the Church and how they had warped history to stay in power, she knew that Those Who Slither in the Dark wouldn’t be her only enemy. For the sake of those who had perished, she resolved to use the power that had been forced upon her to throw away the continent’s broken societal order and bring in a fairer system, one free from the lies of the Church and the machinations of Those Who Slither in the Dark, no matter the cost.

Edelgard laid her former self, the powerless one who wore her heart on her sleeve and cried freely, to rest, taking her place as someone strong enough to see her goals through. She kept her emotions guarded and became cautious of who to trust. She was determined to see her ambition through, even if she had to do so by herself, but as time went on, she noticed a nagging voice in her head growing louder and louder. She didn’t want to be alone, she felt crushed under the responsibility she had shouldered, she just wanted to be able to relax and be herself rather than the Imperial heir. Sure, Hubert was always by her side, having sworn fealty to her years prior, but he saw her as his lord rather than his friend, and deep down, she longed for companions she could stand beside as equals rather than servants wary of her station; however, she knew that if she turned back and returned to the Edelgard she used to be, she would never be able to live with herself. Her siblings couldn’t simply die in vain, it was her duty as the sole survivor to create a world where such atrocities could never occur again.

When Edelgard entered the Officer’s Academy, she was prepared to sever whatever friendships she formed should the need present itself. She was aware that her path was a bloody one that many would refuse to stand for, which may require her to make enemies even of her own housemates, so she willed herself to try not to get attached to anyone. Still, there was one person who had piqued her interest: the Professor.

The Professor was unlike anyone Edelgard had ever met before. While they had incredible combat prowess, they knew very little regarding Crests and the Church. They seemed to lack much in terms of social skills and came off as unfeeling at a glance, but they made an effort to talk and listen to others regardless of station. They had saved her from the bandits she had hired under the guise of the Flame Emperor even before they knew she was a princess and treated her just like anyone else rather than royalty. When she had woken up from a nightmare and they checked in on her to make sure she was alright, she took a leap of faith and decided to trust them with the story behind her siblings’ fate, and they kept her secret. Spending time under the Professor’s tutelage, Edelgard felt as though she had made a genuine friend, which is why the inevitability of them becoming enemies once her true ambition was made known saddened her.

Over time, Edelgard had also grown closer to her classmates as well, and though she didn’t always get along with some of them, Ferdinand and Linhardt in particular, she still felt that they had grown on her. Among those who had transferred into the Black Eagles over the school year, she felt a particular attachment to Lysithea, who had also been a victim of Those Who Slither in the Dark. While her resolve to move forward on her path was still as strong as ever, she became more and more pained at the thought of having to turn against her newfound friends. She knew that despite the bonds they had formed, they trusted the Professor more than her and that since the Professor had been hand-picked by Rhea as a teacher and seemed to have connections to the Children of the Goddess, it was certain they would turn against her when the time came.

This was why when Edelgard revealed herself as the Flame Emperor and the Professor defied the death sentence Rhea had put on her, the rest of the Eagles following suit, she was both shocked and relieved. She felt as though a weight had been taken off her shoulders now that she knew that she wouldn’t be alone on her path. When she led the attack on Garreg Mach and the Professor disappeared, she was distraught knowing that she may never see such a dear friend again but pushed onward for the sake of everyone who had now come to rely on her, and when they reappeared five years later on the day the Millennium Festival would have taken place, it felt like nothing short of a miracle. It was ironic that although everyone was in the midst of a war and Edelgard was put in life-or-death situations on a monthly basis, she finally felt as though she could relax and be herself as though she was still a student. Although she still had to act like an Emperor in public, she could confide in her friends as Edelgard in private, and she was forever grateful for such an opportunity.

When Edelgard would look back on the path her life took, she may be met with memories of tragedy, but she would also remember taking tea with the Professor, or hatching schemes with Hubert, or bickering with Ferdinand, or dragging Linhardt to meetings, or sparring with Caspar, or spending time in the greenhouse with Bernadetta, or listening to Dorothea sing, or watching Petra’s archery, or eating cake with Lysithea, or discussing Crests with Hanneman, or helping Manuela clean, or going on walks with Constance. While she could never get her siblings back, she had a new family now, one that knew her for who she was rather than by a title, and with that knowledge, Edelgard was finally free.


End file.
